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Who comes first? Hubby or baby?

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  • Last Post 01 April 2020
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user4 posted this 17 May 2019

Who comes first in your household? Husband or baby?
My husband is very traditional, and lately he has been reminding me that the Bible says he should be first. He has been feeling neglected because I often don't cook him a hot breakfast, or prepare him a lunch for work. I am completely inundated and overwhelmed with everything baby needs. As a result, he suffers. The other day he even told me that he was jealous of her because she took all his attention away.
Can you believe it? Sometimes I want to tend to all his needs, and be a good wife. Other times I feel like he needs to put his grown man britches on, and take care of himself! Baby NEEDS me! She CAN'T take care of herself so that is why I put her first! Is this wrong, ladies? Please give me some good advice! I could use it!

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Carolyn posted this 01 April 2020

You're take care of his child day in and day out. Where are your hot meals? If he is jealous of a baby because she is being cared for as she should be, maybe he should move back in with his mom so she can coddle him. 

Too blunt?

Luna posted this 31 March 2020

for me, absolutely the baby! my husband is old enough to take care of himself, and should  understand that between him and the baby, the baby needs me more. 

Ali posted this 29 March 2020

For practical, in the moment ways baby comes first because they can't do anything on their own. However, as our son has gotten older (he is almost 2), we are teaching him that if mommy and daddy are talking he needs to wait his turn. Its important to meet kids' basic needs, but its' also important for them to feel secure in their parents' relationship! (disclaimer: i don't think this means anyone needs to be cooking their husbands a hot breakfast every day! my husband is glad when he happens to get one, but certainly doesn't ask for on the days I don't cook.)

Anna posted this 25 February 2020

Baby comes first in our house hold! My husband knows it and understands he is not the baby anymore. Lol

Isabell posted this 24 February 2020

Lol Jona! Yes you stole the words out of a lot of peoples mouth 

I don't mean to be blunt, but is your husband a man or a baby? If he's a man, he can take care of himself.

Isabell posted this 24 February 2020

I could not agree me! Hannah you worded and said this perfectly. Yes focus on yourself first or nobody will be happy.

Um, YOU come first. Without you, the baby won't make it. Without you, your husband would be miserable. So, it's not him, it's not the baby.

Take care of you first.

Isabell posted this 24 February 2020

Baby all the way!!! Hubby can wait lol.

Rachel posted this 24 February 2020

Baby ALL the way. Lol he gets my 1000% attention.

Hannah posted this 19 February 2020

Um, YOU come first. Without you, the baby won't make it. Without you, your husband would be miserable. So, it's not him, it's not the baby.

Take care of you first.

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Taisha posted this 19 February 2020

My babies are my priority too, especially now that they are BABIES. Guys have a hard time understanding that.  Babies are dependent, they can't do things on their own and women are human. We need to somehow find time to take care of ourselves too-aka, eat, go to the bathroom, shower and at somepoint sleep.

Mara posted this 19 February 2020

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks like this... my husband is always number 1 because after the kids are moved out he'll still be around. But after staying up with the baby all night, he'll wake up early and feed her, change her, and enjoy her time, and surprise me with breakfast. He cleans the house and helps me as much as possible. Let's be honest, we both knew to go into this that baby has needs that need attention. I know this doesn't help, good luck. 

Jona posted this 18 February 2020

I don't mean to be blunt, but is your husband a man or a baby? If he's a man, he can take care of himself.

Candy posted this 18 February 2020

If he doesn't like your priorities now, then he's going to be devastated when he finds out how much everything costs for a kid.

C posted this 18 February 2020

Since the baby is completely helpless and he's grown, he comes second.

And if he throws the bible in your face again, remind him it also says you can't wear clothes of mixed fibers, a menstruating woman should be kept in a tent because she's unclean, and it's totally cool for a guy to have the husband of his crush murdered by putting him on the front line of a battle.

Elena posted this 28 January 2020

The baby always comes first. They need more care. Dont neglect your husband, no. But seriously to say he is jealous? yea thats not okay. life changes when a child comes along, but it takes time and adjustment and its super hard in the beginning.. I hope you two can talk this out bc what a terrible position to be in

Ellen posted this 27 January 2020

Ugh! Baby comes first. The baby is literally helpless. While the husband and father is a grown man. The mother and father are partners in taking care of the baby and partners in taking care of each other. The husband and wife should lighten each other's loads and burdens, not add to them. Perhaps it would do your husband some good to remember that the Bible also says that husbands should love his wife as Jesus loves the church and gave Himself up for her. Golly, I'm sorry, but if my husband would leave me for taking care of the baby instead of him, then good riddance. I think my child and I would be better off with a grown man who can take care of himself.

Mohini posted this 15 January 2020

You love your husband, right? I would say that you need to talk this over with him.  It is a huge adjustment for you two and conversations need to be had in order to grow together not apart.  Your relationship with him comes first, but you both have a huge responsibility to your baby.  Talking together will help you know how to balance this.

Connie posted this 15 January 2020

Husbands do come first if you want to keep them.  You married him and fell in love with him and that is why your baby is here.  Yes, you do need to care for your baby a ton, but that doesn't mean you can't involve your husband.  He is a critical part of your family and you need to let him know that he is appreciated.  Sometimes that goes a long way.  I would strongly recommend talking with him about your feelings and coming to an agreement on how you can help one another.  He is also there to help you.

Ellen posted this 15 January 2020

Baby always comes first. You are completely right in the baby needs you more than any man. Even if he is very traditional, you are not his maid and the baby can't do anything without you. There is always a little jealousy from the husband but he should realize the first year of life is precious and needs your attention.

Kymere posted this 14 January 2020

Always always always the baby. A grown man can take care of himself and he shouldn't put so much stress on you while you're obviously taking care of the baby by yourself.

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