I had a friend who had a still birth

  • Last Post 26 January 2020
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Penelope posted this 26 January 2020

I had a friend who had a still birth, and now that I'm pregnant, I don't know how I should act or share my joy or maybe I should just stay away? I don't know what to do...

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Johnny posted this 12 March 2020

I'm praying for you and your friend. I know how devastating that can be. 

Kristy posted this 28 February 2020

I totally understand not wanting to upset your friend, but she'd probably be more upset if you didn't tell her you were pregnant. I'm sure she cares about you and will be happy for you, even if it is also a little painful. That's a really sad event to happen but it's not your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty that you are pregnant.

Jamie posted this 14 February 2020

Keep shining your joy because this is a joyous thing, but also for real, check in and keep the communication open with that friend. I had a friend who kept having miscarriages and actively trying to have a child. I got pregnant the first time not trying to have a child. Her and I talked often. I let her cry and express her sadness and frustration but she supported me big time and is like an aunt to my children now. Congrats!

Fiona posted this 14 February 2020

I'm not sure if you are religious or not, and this isn't meant to be offensive, but send vibes, prayers, whatever you can into the universe or a higher power of your choice. There is nothing worse than experiencing the loss of a child. There is truly nothing you can do or say that will help or hurt the situation... just pray & keep her in your heart! Sending hugs to you and your friend.

Katalina posted this 12 February 2020

I also had a friend who experienced a still birth. I was not pregnant at the time but the ONE thing that she has always communicated to me is that no matter what anyone said it was ALWAYS the wrong thing. It is such a truly traumatic event that no one can possibly learn to handle it. Even her support community of other moms who'd experienced it weren't supportive because everyone handles things in different ways. The advice I can offer is to check in with her-don't say "are you okay?" because she isn't and will never be, but just let her know you are there for her. Don't take anything personally and know that what shes going through is the definition of hell.