Balance marriage and multiple kids?

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Blake posted this 26 February 2019

How do you all manage to balance your marriage with multiple kids, especially when you don't have reliable child care?

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Kaci posted this 26 February 2019

Hi! I'm on my fourth child. I stay home with the kiddos and homeschool as well. I usually just am aware of how intentional I am while the kids are around. I watch attitudes and comments to see where they're at and if they need more attention. We do daddy daughter/son dates and mommy daughter/son dates once a week with our kids. (with one kid that is not all of them, one kid a week). As far as marriage we send our kids to bed "early" at 8. sometimes we let them read or be on their ipods if they're quiet but we don't say bedtime we say room time, which we've explained to mean they have to stay in their room, this is mom and dad time to ourselves. Its worked out pretty good. Intentionality is the most important in my opinion

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CLAIRE posted this 04 March 2019

Kaci wow I like that idea. We are on two kids now and I don't think it has gotten too bad yet on weekends we always do family time but I am sure once we have the third child it might start getting a bit stressful. I do everything around the house and do most of the taking care of my girls also my husband will help once in awhile but I think other people are starting to see me as Stupid because I do everything and dont ask him for help at all . So I think it has been causing us to fight recently so I think I will be starting to ask him to help around the house. 

Naomi posted this 07 March 2019

We have scheduled family, plus take turns with one on one time with each kiddo.

Fiona posted this 08 March 2019

That's really nice that you have some help/support. Not everyone has that.

We have scheduled family, plus take turns with one on one time with each kiddo.

AMANDA posted this 08 March 2019

Date night and alone time is very important . Make time for it  

Shelley posted this 25 April 2019

I cannot speak for myself but I have a good friend of mine back in LA that quit working her full time job and she now has 3 kids of her own and she started up her own childcare/preschool type gig so she gets to hang with her kids and makes a ton of money. She is someone who is really passionate about homeschooling. But her husband and her figured that one out together before they had their last child because it was starting to get tight money wise, so she had to start working but she is killin it. 

Norah posted this 03 May 2019

Work together! Work together! Work together!

Great routines ( I was not good at this for first 4 years) Early bed times. Creative date nights. 

Couples meditation (we are new to that but its calming and makes u a bit more intune)

Jessie posted this 03 May 2019

This is something I seriously worry about for when I have another child!! All your comments have calmed me down thank you so much.  

Emily posted this 05 May 2019

We have 2 and it’s very hard to find time for us. We have one on the way and I’m worried about us having time together. 

Sarah posted this 05 May 2019

When it's time for bed, my husband and I talk about what we could have improved on that day whether it be for the kids or for ourselves. We make each other aware if one of us needs any help and we try not to make the same mistakes. We do a lot of family dates as well, and even take turns taking the kids out individually. It was hard at first, I'll admit, but we got into the swing of things and try really hard to make sure we are all feeling loved. 

Kirsten posted this 06 May 2019

I would really try to find reliable, safe and consistent childcare. At least so you can have regular date nights! 

Allegra posted this 14 May 2019

I'm having this issue right now too. I have mommy guilt when my kids spend the night elsewhere, but if they dont then my fiance and my relationship is terrible.

Gabby posted this 15 May 2019

That is where we are at - deciding about a 2nd child. And I feel like the number 1 factor holding us back is child care.  We have our aging (but healthy) parents but not available as often as we would like and don't live as close as we would like.  So it's minimal and I work - partly from home.  It just feels like a lot. But it's nice to see this forum of people who are living it and are doing just fine. Either way, it will always be challenging. 

Karen posted this 17 May 2019

My husband and I really need to work on this. After having baby number 3 it’s like I’m so worn out by the time he gets home from work. 

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Hannah posted this 01 June 2019

I really need to take in all this information!! I have a hunch I'll be struggling a bit and it's great reading all these ideas that have worked for everyone. 

Sandra posted this 28 August 2019

I think being honest with your husband is the best. Making it a point for weekly dates and one on one time with the kiddos. I like the idea of room time versus bedtime.

emma posted this 21 November 2019

following, because we're still trying to figure that out. We recently moved 2.5 hours away from family and have never had a baby sitter.